Five Hundred Eyes

JNT's companion creator

After last issue's revelation of Terrance Dicks' writing technique, you may (or may not) be interested to hear that he is not the only fan of the cuboid random integer generators. Everyone's favourite producer also used them in his quest for deciding whom to lumber the Doctor with next. Now, for the very first (and almost certainly last) time these secret BBC tables can be revealed to the unsuspecting universe. Mind you, JNT wasn't the first to use them, just the first who admitted to rolling lots of sixes ...

General Appearance

1 Young and Attractive
2 Small and Cute
3 Young, Attractive, Small and Cute
4 Well endowed, Young, Attractive, Small and Cute
5 Lots of Leg, and as many of the above as physically possible
6 Not unlike an animate Swan Vesta

Intellectual Ability

1 Cabbage
2 Highly trained Scientific mind (Cabbage)
3 Highly trained Journalistic mind (Cabbage)
4 A mind the equal of the Doctor's (the Doctor's what, though?)
5 An inquiring, curious mind (doesn't know anything at all)
6 Carrot


1 As little as is decent
2 As little as we can get away with
3 Justifiably little as the character is an Alien (honest John, I kid you not)
4 As little as the Actress will wear
5 Garish and five sizes too small
6 Garish and five sizes too big

Reaction to Danger

1 Scream
2 Scream
3 Dismember it and jump up and down on the bits
4 After due consideration, scream
5 Scream
6 Scweam and Scweam and Scweam until we're thick!


1 What is it Doctor?
2 Doctor!!!!!
3 What have I just mutilated Doctor?
4 Doctor you don't mean that .... (Insert plot explanation)
5 Wow! Mega Brill! Ace! etc.
6 Shriek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


1 English
2 English with interesting accent
3 Alien (Not Home Counties or London)
4 Alien (But might as well be from Home Counties or London)
5 Current export drive
6 Pease Pottage

Ultimate Fate

1 Married off to first passing good guy
2 Married off to next passing good guy
3 Married off to first convenient extra
4 Dumped on Earth at first available opportunity
5 Dumped at first convenient opportunity
6 Feed into liquidizer and used as fertilizer

Issue two contents
Five Hundred Eyes index