Five Hundred Eyes

issue five - summer 1990

Five Hundred Eyes 5

Printed on toilet paper and given an "adults-only" warning by Dr Who monthly, this issue passed into legend, and then passed away ...

by way of an editorial ...

And so, at last, issue five of FHE hits the wastebin with a deafening thud, pausing briefly only to pass through your consciousness on a flying visit to your brain. It's been a long time coming, a double entendre which probably quite neatly parallels a high proportion of this issue's contents. I apologise quite profusely for the frequent references to sex and drugs: we here at FHE Towers have no wish to corrupt the youth of today (although if they insist on wearing flares, they deserve all they get), so I suppose I'd better warn all parents not to let their children read this magazine, especially not pages 24, 25, 35, 79, 80 and 67 to 76 inclusive. Thank you.

There are several good reasons why this issue is very very late, one of which is Ian Levy and his Incredible Moving Deadline, another of which is Fiona Harvey, who distracted my attention at just the right moment, but most of all it was to do with my Finals.

Anyone want to employ a graduate in Medieval History, one careful owner?

Index

ace electric 11-14
ancient conventioneer 14
appendectomy 53
back cover 84
back issues 3
baker, tom 18
berriman 14, 34, 36, 53, 77
bestiality 24
bidmead, christopher 18
blackeyes 61
blank pages 2, 83
boy's own paper 67, 68, 69
bureaucracy 29-33
burt, jonathan 20-23, 55-59
cafe munchen 26
cannabis 68
cartmel, andrew 20
chegwin, keith 53
chemistry 11
clapp, nicole 36-48
cliffhangers 15-18
conventions 14, 49
copyright 3
credits 81
creeping terror 77
daleks 60
deadly grapefruit 24, 53
dr who 4-34, 36-67, 77-80
draught cider 29
drugs 34-35, 67-76
editorial 3
eyes 36, 61
eyes are the window 36
fandom 18, 26, 49, 54, 63, 77, 79
fanzines 19, 81
fiction 24, 34, 36, 61
five hundred eyes 76
flowchart 60
forbidden planet 26
fragment, a 14
frame, the 19
front cover 1
green condoms 80
hinchcliffe era, the 19
hippies 34, 69
historical stories 20
holmes, robert 19
hamster-wutt, not 15-18
illegible print 3-82
index 82
joy of dr who, the 79
knees, ian reddington's 51
kinda 19
kinky sex 24, 79-80
lalla love you 36
lesbian lavatory lust 53
letters 4-10
levy, ian 67-76
ley, shaun 29-34
libel 55
longleat revisited 26
lsd 34, 68, 75, 76
marijuana 67-76
marvel 26
mcgrade, paul 18-20
men from the ministry 29
missing stories 20
mr benn 34
narnia 1, 14, 19, 52
narrow minds 54
nerds 14, 26, 54, 79
nietzsche 68
o'brien, stephen 79
obsession 77
oddballs 21
officialdom 29-33
o'mara, kate 20
orgasm 15
out-of-date 11-14
1001 things 53
paranoia 77-78
pearson, alaister 27, 51
pertwee 20, 29-33, 55-59
perversion 24
poetry 14, 36
police boxes 77
pornography 24
rancid spit 53
recursion 82
redon 74
reprinted article 24, 53
riding whip 36
roe, jackie 5, 26, 49, 63
seducing sue pollard 53
sex 24, 79-80
sexist comments 17
sinclair, paddy 54, 60, 79
small brains 54
space buns 20
spaghetti 79
sploing, sploing 53
stiffs 19
story review 55-59
talons of weng-chiang 19
technophilia 24
teenage girls 12
time and the rani 53
time monster, the 55-59
time storms 11, 20
titan books 26
tharils 36
toast 33
tristan und isolde 68
underpants 53, 80
unit 30, 56
untouchables 18-20
van gogh 70, 71, 72
vermeer 74
wagner 68
warrior's gate 36
when was dw good? 63-67
winnie the pooh 107
wizard of oz 12
woolley, jamie 3, 84
woolworths 79
zygcon 26 49-52